Dear 2013 Katie,
Well, here we are again--can you believe that this year is already over? Even though you'll have days that feel like they go on forever, this year will be over before you know it...trust me! Let me give you a head's up that 2013 will have highs and lows...and there will honestly be a lot of just regular ol' days. Do me a favor, though, and try not to wish away each day...try to live in the moment and enjoy. Sound familiar?
When you get back from your first trip home over Christmas, you will feel rejuvenated and revived. You will have lots of things to look forward to and will share many great experiences with your New Zealand framily (yes, framily...it's a mix of friends and family!) You'll get to film a TV show (how many people can say that?!?) and have lots of fun doing it...although you will quickly realize neither of you are cut out for show business.
You'll get to travel around New Zealand together and see some very cool places. There will also be some places that you wish you hadn't spend money on, but that's ok...just remember it's all part of the journey. You already know that you'll get to go home again for Caroline's wedding and you will have a wonderful time. The fun will continue when Drew's parents come to visit and you get to have one of the most luxurious vacations you've ever had. It will be a great week to spend with them and strengthen your relationships.
Mid-way through the year you will face some of the toughest challenges that your marriage has seen to date (I realize that's only been 2 years, but still.) Your heart will break when Drew comes home extremely stressed from work because you'll feel like there's nothing you can do to make it easier for him. You both will wrestle with the idea of wanting to move home early and you'll forget to remember that God has a plan for your life and that you have to trust in that completely. The biggest hurdle you'll have to face, I'm sorry to say, will be when you find out that you're pregnant and then less than a week later find out that is no longer the case. It will be one of the hardest days of your life, but your husband will be your rock and your strength and you will be his. In that moment, you will find a renewed trust in God...and believe me when I say that by the end of the year, you'll understand why everything turned out the way it did. It's ok if you want to cry at the drop of a hat, it's ok for Drew to cry and be sad, and it's also ok that you feel ok once you come out the other side. This is just part of your journey together and you'll become a stronger couple because of it. You will also find comfort in your friends and family--some of whom can share their stories and experiences of similar situations. This will fuel your desire to want to move home even more, but again I say...just wait a few more months and God's plan will become clear.
In an attempt to have a fresh start and to make the most of your experience in New Zealand, you and Drew will find an amazing new flat and you'll both start to feel a new excitement about living there. You'll finally get to revive your inner hostess and start having your friends over to your place for a change! Drew's spirit will be renewed getting to wake up to the ocean every morning and it'll be hard to convince him to ever move home!
You'll finally get to explore Asia when you and Drew go on your belated anniversary trip to Singapore and Thailand. It will be a truly incredible and memorable trip that you will remember fondly. A week later your friends, Kurt & Haley, will come visit you and it will be a great time to remember why the country you live in is so great and to see New Zealand through visitors' eyes. You'll get to experience some new, fun places with them and really bond with them in a special way.
There will be several friends and family members that have babies or announce that they're pregnant throughout the year. In spite of what you and Drew went through you will continue to be ecstatic for each of them. You'll get to spend a lot of time with babies in NZ and will learn a lot about parenthood. You will have to remember that you have a special path laid out for you and if kids are in your future, God will bless you when the time is exactly perfect. So chill out...and remember to pray that God will prepare your heart and Drew's to accept the responsibility and the joy of becoming parents and remember that it will happen in God's time, not in yours.
Remember when I told you to wait until the end of the year and then you'll understand why things worked out the way the did?? Well, about a week before you head off on your Christmas holiday, Drew will get an email that changes your lives. He's going to get an email from his office back home requesting that he come home a few months early because they just won a new client and they want him to work on it. Even though the details will take a little while to hash out, by the time you set foot in North Carolina you'll have the answer that you're moving home in April instead of August! As excited as you'll be for this amazing change, it will also hit you both hard that you'll only have 3 months left once you return from your Christmas trip. BUT...having said all that, you will finally realize that God had this in mind for you all along.
If that weren't good news enough, you and Drew will find a house during your trip to NC! It may not be 100% your dream home, but it's going to be pretty damn close. You all will have one of the easiest negotiations in the history of real estate and you will have so much fun planning and organizing and decorating. Your friends in NZ will be very excited for you but also very sad to see you go. Don't worry--in future years, you'll be writing about all your NZ friends who came to visit you in your new home.
Through all of these experiences, good and bad, the main thing you'll learn this year is that you have to have faith. Everything always works out the way it's supposed to. You will lose sight of that and your fears and anxiety will start to take over a bit, but you'll be alright. You'll eventually realize that you have a million and one things to be thankful for and that thanking God for those blessings and believing that those blessings are deserved will help you gain the right perspective.
You've done a pretty decent job of taking pictures and documenting your time in New Zealand, but do more! You're never going to look back on any experience and say 'damn, I took too many pictures.' When people ask you to do things, do them. Don't sit at home and watch TV--you can do that anywhere. This year you will get to see lots of movies, read lots of books (you'll almost reach your goal of reading a book a week), and see some great performances. Take it all in--you really are lucky. No one is saying that you can't have bad days or that you can't long for something that someone else has or that you can't be sad or upset...but just keep it in the back of your mind that you really are one lucky little girl.
Lastly, remember how I told you that you don't always have to be perfect?? Yeah...that still holds true. Things in your life can be and will be perfect...but that doesn't mean you have to be. Remember to be grateful. Remember to say prayers of thanksgiving. Remember to kiss your husband and laugh with (or at) him at least once a day. Call your parents and your in-laws. Send emails and texts and birthday cards to everyone you love...even if they don't send them back. Give people second (and even third) chances. Pray. Love. Trust. Hope. You'll turn out just fine.
Love,
2014 Katie
So that's the wrap up for this year--it was a whirlwind. Cheers to an even better 2014...no telling what God has in store for you!
Cheers,
This is beautiful, Katie, and brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing your heart. You're an inspiration and I feel like 2014 is going to be amazing!
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