I decided I wanted to write a letter to my 2012 self. I got this idea from an old friend and thought it was an incredible way to reflect on the past year. So just imagine that I'm writing this letter in January 2013 to myself in January 2012. Here goes nothing...
Dear 2012 Katie,
First of all, congratulations on making it through your first few months of marriage with your wonderful husband. Make sure that over the next few months (and for the rest of your lives), that you remember the joy, happiness, and pure bliss that you felt on your wedding day when you recited your beautiful vows to one another. Drew is undoubtedly your soulmate and the man you were destined to be with and this year will prove that more than ever. Everyone has and will continue to tell you that the first year of marriage will be the toughest...while I can attest to the fact that your first year of marriage will stretch and challenge you, it will also be the start of an unparalleled journey.
As part of those vows and your ever-strengthening love for Drew, you will have to be strong and excited and supportive of his career and his dreams when he gets the news that you will be moving 8,700 miles away from home. Your world will be rocked when you find out Drew got an offer in Auckland, New Zealand instead of London, England like you were hoping for. Even though it's much further away, you will become a much better traveler, you'll earn tons of frequent flier miles and you'll realize that a glass of wine and an Advil PM can very easily get you through a 12-hour flight!
Make the most of the time you have with your family & friends in the States. You will want to cry everyday for at least a month before you leave and that is 100% ok. Cry, be sad, let it all out...the people closest to you will be there to comfort you and encourage you and remind that you're going on the journey of a lifetime and that it's not forever. Which brings me to my next point...remember that it's NOT forever. When you look back on this time in your life in 10, 20, 50 years...the 2 years you spent abroad will seem like the blink of an eye. I know while you're preparing for it and during it, it will seem as if time is almost standing still, but remember that you will come back to visit the US several times, and at the end of it all, everyone you love will be waiting for your return with open arms.
Remember not to be too hard on yourself. You always have the tendency to try to be a perfect version of yourself; to never let anyone down; to make sure you come across as having it all together. Just stop--you're never going to be perfect; the people who love you will very rarely be disappointed in you; no one has it all together, so you don't have to either. You will face some challenges that a lot of people will never know, but they will turn out to be incredible blessings in disguise. The challenge of moving to a place you've never set foot in; the challenge of leaving behind your family, friends and everything you're familiar with; the challenge of having to rely on one single person to be your source of comfort and entertainment; the challenge of learning a whole new way of life. But this experience with all of its challenges will make you a better person, a better wife, and a better friend.
You will have lots of adjusting to do--you'll have to figure out how to cram all of your stuff into a 400 square-foot apartment (sorry to burst your bubble about having a penthouse with a view, honey). You'll have to learn your way around a new grocery store...how to cook in an oven that's in Celsius instead of Fahrenheit...how to drive on the opposite side of the car and the road...when is an appropriate time to Skype with someone back home thanks to the time difference...how far in advance you have to send birthday cards so that people back home actually receive them...how to make new friends. You'll have to learn how to love Drew for who he is and to thank him for taking you on this journey instead of resenting him for making you leave home. There will be bad days when you'll wish you were back home and that you'll think 'why did I agree to do this.' Then on the good days you'll remember exactly the reason you agreed to do this...it's because it's always been important to Drew and you want to be by his side while he lives out his dream.
GET OUT! I mean that in the nicest way possible...but get out and see the world!! Even though you will tend to focus on the negative things (which is a terrible habit that you should really work on), you must make yourself get out of the apartment...get out and explore the city & country that you live in that most people will never get to see in their lifetimes. You will get to see things on a daily basis that a lot of people dream about on their bucket lists. You will get to walk past the beautiful Auckland Harbour every single day...so take LOTS of pictures (but I don't really have to tell you that, do I??)
You will also meet some of the most genuine friends you'll ever meet in your life and they will completely change and shape your experience in New Zealand. I know it's hard to think about leaving your friends and family back home, but the people you'll meet in Auckland will make your journey completely worth it. Your Auckland friends will be a great mixture of people from all over the world and they are, without a doubt, people whom you would never meet in any other situation. You were all brought together in this space for a reason and hopefully some of these people will end up being life-long friends. You will love them, celebrate with them, cry with them, drink lots of wine with them and do lots of traveling and fun things with them. Embrace them and enjoy them for as long as you are there.
You will get used to being in a new place and it will even begin to feel like home. A big reason that you'll begin to feel at home is the aforementioned friends--they will make you feel welcomed and loved and normal. Drew will, however, be your biggest supporter, friend, confidant, and companion. He will let you cry when you feel homesick, he will bring home flowers and cards on random days, he will make sure you guys laugh all the time, he will rearrange your budget a million times so that you get to have the most wonderful experiences possible.
Believe it or not, you will come back for your first visit to the States and come back to Auckland more excited and alive and rejuvenated than you did when you first moved there. You will feel like you have a second home to come home to that is full of wonderful friends who want to be involved in your life and full of new adventures that you can constantly look forward to.
So the bottom line is...enjoy! Enjoy your life, enjoy your husband, enjoy your friends--new & old, talk to your family as much as possible, get out of the apartment at least once a day, and do as your mom tells you and LIVE IN THE MOMENT.
I know that was a lot to take in, but if you can just try to have faith that this was always meant to be part of your journey, you will be a lot happier and you'll come out the other side a more beautiful version of you.
Love,
2013 Katie
Sorry--I know that was long-winded, but I really wanted a different way to express all of the thoughts, feelings, fears, and I experienced this past year. Thank you all for listening!
Cheers!
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